Why I'v been away for so long..
I wanted to post, come back here, let it all out.. but so much has happened.. Writing it down did not seem to be a way to vent it out.. I just couldn't!
It was an awfully busy semester, and exams finally ended 15th May, 4pm.. 9pm, the same day I lost someone very very close to me.. right in front of my eyes.. without any warning.. within a time span of 2 minutes..
I didnt know people die like that.. as funny as that may sound, I really didnt! 2 months later, today.. I still don't believe he's gone. I'm not challenging the idea of death, the Hereafter or the existance of the Almighty.. I am still trying to accept the truth!
From the day he left us to now.. I am not the same person, I have cut off from what I used to be.. who I used to be.. and am still trying to understand the person I'v become.
Also, understanding life.. and the very point of life has become difficult for me.
I'm thankful you did not suffer much pain, and I remind myself of that often.. I also hope you lived a very happy 80 years, because your entire family loves you dearly.
It was an awfully busy semester, and exams finally ended 15th May, 4pm.. 9pm, the same day I lost someone very very close to me.. right in front of my eyes.. without any warning.. within a time span of 2 minutes..
I didnt know people die like that.. as funny as that may sound, I really didnt! 2 months later, today.. I still don't believe he's gone. I'm not challenging the idea of death, the Hereafter or the existance of the Almighty.. I am still trying to accept the truth!
From the day he left us to now.. I am not the same person, I have cut off from what I used to be.. who I used to be.. and am still trying to understand the person I'v become.
Also, understanding life.. and the very point of life has become difficult for me.
I'm thankful you did not suffer much pain, and I remind myself of that often.. I also hope you lived a very happy 80 years, because your entire family loves you dearly.
I'm still trying, to get back to things as they used to be.. but I think I lost a part of me that day, with you Pappa.. I don't think I can go back to living life the same way.. Even if I can, I don't think I want to..
I may not have been the bestest 'gudia' but you sure were the best person to have around! You spoilt me to the very core.. with all the gifts, the cards, the love.. the constant questioning about exams, projects, events, friends.. I even cherish more now the love for photography that I have inherited!
I may not have been the bestest 'gudia' but you sure were the best person to have around! You spoilt me to the very core.. with all the gifts, the cards, the love.. the constant questioning about exams, projects, events, friends.. I even cherish more now the love for photography that I have inherited!
I love you, very much.. and how much I miss you, I realize now as I look around for even a sign of you every single day at your house.. in your room.. in our lives.. any thing, any indiction, any reflection.. of you.
Saying goodbye has never been more difficult.
posted by Reema @ 12:10 am
7 comments
7 Comments:
This is very touching Reema. It brought so many memories of my Dadajee and Nanajee. You know this may sound bad but you are lucky to see him go infront of your eyes because in my case they were so far that it still looks surreal to me, as if they are still somewhere there and will return back. I was in Canada when my Dadajee passed away in India and was having my exams when Nanajee passed away.
I am sure your Nanu is in a good place and always watching his gudiya from there. May his soul rest in peace...
Do you know where is your Nanu? Its within you and will always be part of you, so always always take care of yourself the best way you can.
Bahut achaa post likha hain aapne for your Nanu, it really broght tears to my eyes too. I still have the last letter my Dadu wrote me and although the ink maybe fading in that letter, his words remains with me...
I will share some of the stories of my Dadu and Nanu here, if you don't mind :-)
Oay, waise kya pata, my Dadu and Nanu maybe playing cricket with your Nanu... :-)
Be happy Reema and God Bless You!!
thanks Ricky, for all the comments.. this was veryy impulsively written :S ofcourse u can share ur stories.. :)
my blog's starting frm scratch.. ur the only reader! ill try n post on n off now.. more regularly!
Yea, I could see that but most good thoughts come out of impulse. I am sure more readers will come as you start reading and commenting :-) Warna hum hain toh kya ghum hain. Jab bhi mood aur mann karein post kar dena, I will be there :-)
Hey Reema......
I'd many a times connect with you, when i read ur posts...... I'd feel i've had just the same experiences... But didnt want this one...... i felt i was reading my own words from my old diary, and not ur blog..... Haan.. life plays like that sometimes.....
BTW, good to see u back.... and well, i would visit this place at least once a week.... to see if u've come back :) So that makes it 2 readers - Ricky and I!!! So atart posting....
thanks Sum, it was tough coping.. but yep, thats life!
ill be active hopefully.. :)
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